All I want for Christmas is a four-year coma. Sincerely, Nick
When you look at one up close, you see unimaginable details in the iris. It’s a raw, living terrain of light and color through which another soul looks out from behind a veil of nerves and blood, brewing beneath like magma under the mantle. But these eyes, her eyes, burned as a tumultuous blue depth,… Continue reading Lost at Sea
I left the country for my honeymoon only a few days after the 2016 presidential election. My friend Matt sent in a congrats and fairwell: Matt: Hey, congrats again and have a safe flight! Nick: Thanks man! Feels good to get out of this fucking country. Matt: Stay safe over there, the less said the… Continue reading Canadians Abroad
So one night while I was working as a Summer RA for a youth camp comprised of about 300 middle-school aged girls and boys, I get this knock on my door. I open it to find my friend Ben with an exasperated look on his face. "Some kids are having sex. All the campers are… Continue reading My time as a Sex-Ed Teacher
If the multiverse theory is true I wonder in how many universes I might be flying around on a jetpack, solving crimes.
The thing I don’t like about guns is that for them to be useful, you have to use bullets. You have to put in the extra effort to load the gun, which uses up valuable seconds and broadcasts your intentions in a crisis situation. This is why when confronted by danger, I just immediately hurl… Continue reading Gun control
A lot of people think the worst day of your life is the day when you have to see a loved one or someone close to you die. But it’s not. It’s the next day. It’s when you realize that the sun has risen with the nightmare still playing out and you have to live… Continue reading When The World Fell Apart
One time while I was out camping with my dad, I had gone to sleep early and my dad stayed up by the fire, drinking beer and staying warm. He soon noticed a raccoon nearby in the bushes, and being the resourceful man he was, decided to use his nearly empty beer can as a… Continue reading The Natural Laws
Before I die, I've decided I'm putting a secret provision in my will to pay a look-alike of me to dress up in my clothes and stand off in the distance during the funeral. That way people will be reminded and comforted to know that I will always be watching over them.
The look on Frank’s face told a rather complete and tragic tale. Up until that point I had never known a feline to have the capacity to emote more than three expressions: “I like this.” “I dislike this or am otherwise not interested.” And lastly “I WILL REMOVE YOUR EYES IF MY PRESENT SITUATION IS… Continue reading Journey to the Infinite Part 3