I wish we had more mashup films like AVP or Freddy v. Jason, or at least some sequels that were willing to try something new. I can think of a couple dozen guaranteed hits right off the ol' bean: Back to the Future / Terminator: Picture the T-1000 clinging to the back of the Delorean… Continue reading Get me J.J. Abrams on line 1
I want to like football. I really do. I just wish more sports teams made hats out of what their home state is known for, just like the Green Bay Packer Cheeseheads. It makes a lot of sense since their coming from Wisconsin, the Dairy State. I think the other teams could all come up… Continue reading Intimidation factor
All I want for Christmas is a four-year coma. Sincerely, Nick
If the multiverse theory is true I wonder in how many universes I might be flying around on a jetpack, solving crimes.
The thing I don’t like about guns is that for them to be useful, you have to use bullets. You have to put in the extra effort to load the gun, which uses up valuable seconds and broadcasts your intentions in a crisis situation. This is why when confronted by danger, I just immediately hurl… Continue reading Gun control
Before I die, I've decided I'm putting a secret provision in my will to pay a look-alike of me to dress up in my clothes and stand off in the distance during the funeral. That way people will be reminded and comforted to know that I will always be watching over them.
I must have had a sour look on my face, because a friend asked me if something was wrong. There was, but I didn't have the heart to tell them what was really on my mind. I'd spent the last 10 minutes trying to figure out if Ducktales and Darkwing Duck exist in the same universe.
When I was a kid I thought being a lawyer meant you got to deal with contracts signed in blood or settling disputes between mermaids and evil sea-witches over the ownership of a voice exchanged for legs. Turns out most of it is just sitting down in front of a computer and drinking expensive coffee.
I really don't know why the lady in the eyeglasses store was so upset. How else am I going to test out these frames? Half the reason you wear glasses is to be able to take them off dramatically and look super serious all of a sudden.
You know that moment when you’re really feeling something, and you’re so full of emotion you want to hash out your feelings with someone else and hope they’ll validate your feelings, so you decide to share it and you walk up and try to talk to someone about it, and they’re like, giving you that… Continue reading I’m so alone here.