Sometimes I think about life as If I were a cosmic entity, floating through the ether, collecting debris along the way as other pieces of me are shed, stripped off by time and pressure. In a way I guess we are heavenly bodies; a collection of elements and molecules that are constantly infused and then released again back into the universe. I think about planets being born, circling around a center of gravity, collecting dust and materials along their paths until they create enough of their own gravity to coalesce into a uniform body.
Maybe we’re the same way, not just in the crude matter that holds us together and gives us form, but as we tumble along through life. I think about the things I’ve lost and gained over the years, the physical and the mental. I’ve travelled far and picked up a lot along the way. Scars, bruises, memories and experiences that have long since been absorbed and melted back into the core unconscious. My face, my body – they’ve been weathered by time.
I wonder how I’ve attracted others in my time, about how I’ve seen things pass by and not noticed or cared, while at other times I would look wide-eyed as something shot towards and threatened to break me in two. How many times have I reached out to grab something passing by, only to fail? In my years I’ve encountered and drifted alongside others, caught up in a mutual gravity, spinning around one another. Often for too long. Sometimes shorter. When they leave they take pieces of me with them, ripped by the tidal forces of separation. And always, I’ve continued my on my path, my skin scraped and my soul shorn.
I see you coming towards me and being caught in your tremendous pull. We circle around each other, drawn by invisible force, closer and closer. How long will we dance? Will we one day collapse in on each other and merge? Would I even recognize this new world we’d be giving ourselves to? Our worlds mixed together over time, churning a new stratum from within a white hot core. A genesis.
I imagine the life of a planet, one day dying from the inside as it cools. Eventually it floats lifelessly, calm and constant, a paper boat in a pond no longer pushed by the wind. Eventually it will dissolve and turn back into the dust of all things. Everything it ever was. Everything it ever collected along its journey. Everything it merged with and added to itself, crumbling apart and falling away, piece by piece back into the void to be collected once again. That thought makes me happy.
I think about meandering through the universe together, entangled with you throughout time, absorbed and separated again and again into new worlds. Now that we’ve found each other we are bound. Enmeshed by the chemistry and attraction of our base natures. Finding and collecting each other.