Ranking our Presidents

Today during a meeting I chose to shirk my responsibilities and honor President’s Day by making a list while no one was looking. Here it is. Recognize that you are getting the end results, and are spared the agonizing back and forth that took up an entire 20 minutes. You’re welcome.

1) Most impressive facial hair. (Van Buren – google it)
2) Most likely to successfully ride a wild bear for longer than 8 seconds. (T. Roosevelt – i think he actually did)
3) Most Presidentiest. (G.W. Bush, also shortest sentences)
4) Quickest to gray hair. (Washington, also gray teeth)
5) Ladies favorite. *eyebrow raise, wink* (JFK – would be Franklin otherwise)
6) Most eloquent use of hand gestures. (F.Roosevelt, dude was all hands)
7) Best at filling out a suit. (Taft)(in pounds per inch)
8) Most likely to secretly be a Sith Lord. Right I know, those were just “films.” (Nixon)
9) If electric guitars were available throughout our nation’s history, which President would most be able to melt faces with some sweet licks. (Coolidge, pretty much because of the name, and the fact that he went by Silent Cal – “Baby… my axe does the talking, k?”)
10) Most (un)resembling their party mascot. (Regan – actually i reversed this one because of the irony of an elephant never forgetting)