A poor college student works at a hotel.

I remember fondly working in a hotel for a time. I used to play this game where if a guest was being truly beastly to us (i’m talking Skeletor evil here), I would ask them if they needed any help carrying their bag. If they said yes (the most foul people always did), I would come out from behind the desk hobbling on a cane that was left by a guest years ago and pick up their suitcase.

When they would begin to protest I would just say “Sir, this is my job, ok? This is all I have.” Then I’d really put on a show struggling with the luggage, occasionally letting the particularly fragile-looking things get dropped.

Reach the person’s room completely sweaty and out of breath.

“WHY YES I ACCEPT TIPS, THANK YOU SIR.”

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